I can’t think of anything more miserable to write/talk about than what I’m looking for in a man. I can’t ignore the signs…my friends are obviously worried about my singleness. Weeks ago a friend said she’s sending me good energy to meet a man in 2015. A few days later, a friend from high school called and suggested I make a list of the top ten things I’m looking for in a man. She said she did that and she found her now husband. Then on Christmas Eve day a friend posted on my Facebook timeline that she wishes that the New Year brings me my prince on a big white horse. Alright, alright, alright. I surrender. Since y’all are so concerned about my love life, you are now enlisted in setting me up with the man of my dreams in 2015. But in doing so, I think you need some basic (or not so basic) guidelines on what I’d like to find.
I have no interest in online dating so please don’t gift me a subscription to any dating sites. I don’t have the time or patience for the incessant emails in an effort to get to know each other, and then meet and they’re not as tall, dark and handsome as their profile indicated.
It’s not that I don’t want to date…it’s just that the bar keeps moving. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s moving in the direction of higher expectations. It just moves more in the direction of what I can tolerate and what I can’t. Seriously, I have my own issues so I can hardly expect perfection in someone else with my own quirky tendencies. I can’t help it, it is what it is….I’m quirky with a double shot of O.C.D. I’m a walking contradiction. While I fly by the seat of my pants, I also like to have things scheduled and in order. Unleashed orderly-ness.
Honestly, I’m better at defining what I don’t want, like….needy, clingy, stalking, call me multiply times of day to see what I’m doing kinda guys. In fact, the most appealing guy is the kind that leaves me alone and I’ll contact him when I’m in need of male interaction. I’m just a teeny, tiny bit independent.
That being said, let’s cut to the chase of the Top Ten Qualities I’m looking for in a Man….
10. He has a degree of Intelligence – Not book, nerdy, smart but rather fun, off-the-wall, random thoughts, adventure, unexpected things kinda smart. The fact that he has an education is nice but honestly at this age nobody gives a rats behind where you went to college. Present an I know a little about a lot of things, how to run a business, be an entrepreneur, take career risks; he has my attention. I love to talk business; build one, buy one, sell one, grow one…I’m all ears. I’m smart and I appreciate a man who challenges my intelligence.
9. He’s Sophisticated – I appreciate the finer things in life and hopefully I can find a guy that does too. It’s not like I’m a snob or anything, but…I like what I like. And I’m going to cost him a small fortune to date me either because if I like something, I buy it. No need for this guy to support my habits, I can support my own!
8. He’s Passionate – Ya, ya, ya…I’m not talking sexually passionate, ok, well that would be nice too but I’m not looking for miracles! I’m looking for someone who is passionate about life, people, family. The things he believes in. Someone so passionate you can feel it oozing out of him. He knows his soul and follows where it leads him.
7. He appreciates my love for Paris and the French culture – Walking arm in arm down the banks of the Seine, with the sidewalk cafés and La Vie en Rose playing in the background. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, looking for the holy grail of love.
6.. He’s kind…to everyone – I think it’s the one thing most people don’t know about me…my passion for compassion. I go over and above to make people feel important. I don’t care if they’re serving food in a restaurant, checking me out at Target, running my credit card in a parking ramp downtown or the homeless guy I struck up a conversation with while waiting for a friend in a restaurant…there’s NO excuse to think you’re better than anyone. If I have to admit a fault, it’s that I see good in people and am too trusting….until they prove there is no good in them. There’s nothing that irritates me more than being with someone who treat others like they’re below them. The guy I choose to be with will be kind to everyone.
5. A little Romance goes a long way – Let’s admit it, romance is powerful for creating sparks…but don’t let the romance stop just because we went out on a couple of dates. I want the romance to last…and keep that fire burning.
4. He’s Dominant – I have a strong personality so I’m looking for a man who is strong as me. He doesn’t need to be stronger but he has to have some kahuna’s and know when to use them. Hard to find? Maybe, but much-needed or I will walk all over him, wipe my feet off and move on.
3. Creative and evolved in his thinking– I’d like to find a guy who appreciates historic and modern architecture, enjoys meandering through museums, historic neighborhoods, open-minded in many aspects of life and food in particular. If he can’t cook hopefully he likes to eat, entertain, pour wine and do dishes!
2. He has a Sense of Humor – I’m a goof and so this guy needs to have humor in order to maintain my attention. Even if he’s a little cocky, a little bit of overconfidence has never hurt anyone. It makes for the kind of playful banter that I find irresistible.
1. He has the “Cool” Factor – This guy needs to have an extensive knowledge of music, enjoys live music and loves to dance. He has a variety of stamps on his passport, likes day trips and weekend adventures. Is sociably appropriate, likes a cocktail or two and knows when two is two too many, He has an iTunes account and has a playlist for every occasion. Pandora, Spotify…I don’t need to explain what these apps are as he already knows. He likes to dress fashionably with cool jeans, shirts and shoes….and will even fulfill my Frenchman fantasy by wearing a scarf.
So there you have it, the list of qualities I’m looking for in a man. It seems a bit indulgent to think I could find someone with even half of these characteristics. But as a woman over fifty, I’m not looking to have babies, therefore marriage is not on my radar. Having a fun-filled life is! So even though I’m over fifty, that doesn’t mean I have to latch onto the next single guy that comes along and if one never does come along…so be it…I’ll continue to carry on in my happy, happy life!!!
Have a great week everyone!