I’ve been trying to quit my job since the day I got it…17yrs ago

Bouncing from side hustle to side hustle, wishing I would have just stuck with my massage business and doing whatever it took to make it work. Unfortunately, that’s not how things worked out. After I injured my ulnar nerve in both my elbows, it got harder to give massages and so I quit.

I quit my dream that I had for so many years, putting myself through school as a single 20yr old mom was hard enough and I did it! I passed with flying colors…so many nights studying anatomy, physiology, kinesiology and so much more.

Clearly I chose a different path than the traditional route of a 4yr college because I wanted something different. I craved freedom, I craved creating a specific lifestyle where I got to raise my son on my terms, build a biz I was passionate about. Choosing my own hours, my own rates and creating something truly magical…at least that was the dream back then. Not much has changed in the almost 20yrs since I graduated from massage school. I still dream about all the things becoming an entrepreneur can bring…the freedom…financial freedom, not punching the time clock, not having to ask for permission for time off, no dress code, or depending on your employer to determine if you deserve a raise and how much…I mean the list goes on!

There was a part of me that almost felt relieved that I had to leave my dream, the amount of hard work it took to build a biz, getting regular clients, doing my own taxes, marketing…the amount of responsibility was solely on me. It felt too easy to just get a job, get a paycheck just for showing up, have them do my taxes, pay for medical…only it wasn’t.

Getting a job has been the hardest thing for me to do in my whole life. I honestly don’t work well with others, let alone constantly being told what to do & when. I never knew how hard it would be on me on such a personal level. It felt like I was in high school again and this was another popularity contest. It doesn’t matter how above & beyond I go in my work ethics if no one likes me. I’m not big on small talk and I loath the whole kiss-ass type of people and yet my bosses soaked it all up from my co-workers…pardon me while I gag 🤢

I’ve spent almost 2 decades trying to figure out this whole entrepreneur thing, collecting certification after certification. Leaning so hard core into my passions, constantly developing my purpose in life knowing that no matter where I go, no matter what JOB I have, my soul will always be unfulfilled, always being called and pulled towards a different path than the one I’m on and yearning for more than this mundane 9-5 can ever offer me.

My husband asked me the other day when I was going to quit…my answer…NEVER! I will never stop, no matter how long it takes me. I had to lose my mind in order to find my soul. The thoughts, beliefs and identities I’ve held for so long, thinking that I had to do life the way everyone else did in order to be successful was the biggest mistake I made.

Releasing the woman I thought I was supposed to be, in order to become who I was always meant to be has been a long ass journey! In all my years of personal growth, no one taught me about my beliefs and how much going deeper into my growth, getting to the root of it all made all the difference in the world. It was always about “thinking happy thoughts” and no matter how much I tell my brain to accept my 9-5 life, my body screams no!

I’m not a good fit for corporate, I never will be.

So for or now…I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. Doubling down on my own rituals & practices around movement + breathwork + mediation so that I can manifest growing my biz and leaving my 9-5. Creating mini courses that help other corporate women deal with the day to day stress of not loving your job, helping them develop their passions & purpose in life so they too can stop settling, stop living someone else dream and build their own ridiculous life they deserve & love!